Planning For The Day: Coming Out
I am talking about this more and more because it seems like it might just happen sometime in the remote future. As or recently I have been simply feeling down about most everything. I cannot tell you how many posts I have started writing here, gotten three paragraphs in, and thought it was complete crap and erased. I am so sick of feeling like shit all the time.
I think I may come out to my sister soon. Maybe soon after make it Facebook official. I loged into MyYearbook for the first time in months simply because I know my sister uses it and it is all about flirting and such. I looked at some of the very decent guys around here, who are out with their sexuality, and it encourages me to believe everything will be ok. I would be lying if I said I didn’t see a cute boy or two on there that I wouldn’t mind messaging… but right now I have a bit of self confidence issues. Maybe when I loose 10 pounds. Prolonged exposure to my grandmothers house has put on a few for me 
You know what, I am getting increasingly happy as I write this article. Mood is improving with every statement of moving forward towards freedom. I can only imagine what it will feel like once it’s all said and done.
I need to practice on what I would like my facebook bulletin to look like. I might start crafting that here soon.
I would definitely recommend coming out. It is a huge burden off of your shoulders. Do not wait until you are happy with your body to come out or go after guys. It is not worth it and too depressing.
However, you also do not need to make a big deal about your coming out. There is no need for a big facebook announcement. For me the best way to come out has been to stop lying. When someone asks me if I have a girlfriend I say no, but I have a boyfriend.
I agree with you, but that plan of action is completely dependent on my ability to answer to that question truthfully every single time. It’s hard to imagine, but I do see how it might become increasingly easier with time.
The biggest problem is how do I want to let my family know… I remember when I was 13 my dad and I standing in a doorway, him literally in tears asking me if I was gay. My lack of girlfriends and obvious lack of enthusiasm in the topic led him to ask me…
He told me to tell him the truth because if I was he needed to know. He needed to then because he wasn’t sure if he could deal with it. I was 13 and sorta confused… I was pressured into hoping and desiring to be straight. In any case, I told him what deep down I knew was a lie and told him I am straight and that was the end of it.
I think he might take it better today but doubt still lingers…
It truly does get a lot easier the more you say it.
I had almost the exact same conversation with my dad when I was that age too, and I gave the same answer. I expect a lot of people have had that conversation.
A few things I would remember are:
- You do not have to come out to everyone at the same time. You can come out to some of your friends and then come out to your family later. However, do not do it in a way where you are constantly trying to remember who you have told and who you have not.
- If you are still dependent on your parents for money, housing, or anything else be careful. If you do not think your parents would cut you off for coming out, then go for it. However, if your parents would cut you off then hold off on coming out to them unless you can become independent. You can still come out to your trusted friends.
- Your true friends and your family want you to be happy. So come out of the closet and be happy. You might lose some friends who are not really your friend. And your friends and family might take a while to come to terms. It will not be like flipping a switch for everybody. Explain to them it is not their fault and be prepared for it to take time.
- Finally, be prepared for them to say they already knew and ask why you did not tell them sooner. You would be surprised by how many people you know have already guessed.
Never late to comment I hope??
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My coming out wasn’t really what I’ve expected, but it is really a relieve to be yourself. It’s so much better when you don’t have to lie anymore about yourself.
At the end, the people who love you and do care about you won’t mind. It’s not your problem if people can’t accept it. It’s THEIR problem.
Goodluck with it! *hug*